Shame: The Silent Weight We Carry
Shame is one of the most powerful — and painful — human emotions. Unlike guilt, which says “I did something wrong,” shame says “There’s something wrong with me.” And that message can quietly shape the way we see ourselves, our relationships, and the choices we make.
Many people carry shame for things they had no control over — their upbringing, their mental health, how they were treated by others, or simply for being who they are.
Shame often hides beneath the surface. It can look like:
Constantly apologising, even when you’ve done nothing wrong
Feeling like you have to prove your worth
Avoiding vulnerability or connection
Believing you’re not “good enough” for love, success, or peace
Harsh self-talk and deep self-doubt
Where Shame Begins
Shame is often rooted in early experiences — perhaps you were criticised, ignored, bullied, or made to feel like your needs or feelings were “too much.” Perhaps you were taught that love had to be earned.
Over time, these messages become internalised, turning into a belief that “I am flawed, broken, or unworthy.”
But here’s what’s true: shame lies. It distorts your sense of self and keeps you small. And the way out isn’t through hiding — it’s through gentle, safe connection.
Healing Shame Looks Like…
Bringing it into the light – Shame thrives in silence. Speaking about it (especially in therapy) helps reduce its power.
Learning to separate “me” from the experience – You are not the bad thing that happened.
Practising self-compassion – Meeting shame with kindness helps soften it.
Challenging shame-based beliefs – Ask yourself, “Whose voice is this? Is it true?”
Final Thought
Shame tells you that you must hide in order to be accepted. But healing says: you are already worthy — even in your most vulnerable places.
The weight of shame isn’t yours to carry forever. There is space for softness, for healing, and for the truth of who you are to gently rise again.