Perfectionism: When “Doing Your Best” Becomes Never Enough
Striving to do well can be a good thing. But when that striving turns into a need to never make mistakes, to always be in control, or to constantly prove your worth — that’s when perfectionism takes hold.
Perfectionism isn’t just about being organised or working hard. It’s about the fear that anything less than perfect will lead to failure, rejection, or shame.
And it’s exhausting.
What Does Perfectionism Really Look Like?
Perfectionism can show up in obvious ways — like overworking or obsessing over small details — but it can also wear more subtle disguises:
Procrastination, because if you can’t do it perfectly, why start at all?
Overthinking, replaying conversations or decisions, worrying about how you came across
Fear of failure, even when the task is low-stakes
Struggling to rest, feeling like you have to “earn” a break
Setting impossibly high standards — and still feeling like you’ve fallen short
These patterns often stem from early messages that love, success, or approval were conditional — based on performance, appearance, or behaviour.
The Hidden Cost of “Getting It Right”
Perfectionism can look like strength from the outside, but inside it often brings:
Burnout
Low self-worth
Chronic anxiety
Fear of being truly seen
Difficulty celebrating achievements (because they’re never quite enough)
Over time, perfectionism disconnects us from joy, creativity, spontaneity — and even from ourselves.
Healing from Perfectionism
You don’t need to become careless or complacent to let go of perfectionism. You just need to practise being human — messy, growing, real.
Here are a few ways to start:
Challenge all-or-nothing thinking – Progress counts. “Good enough” is often more than enough.
Notice your inner critic – Whose voice does it sound like? Is it telling the truth, or just repeating an old script?
Celebrate small wins – Not everything needs to be exceptional. Done is often better than perfect.
Rest without guilt – Rest is not a reward; it’s a right.
Talk about it – Shame grows in silence. Speaking with a therapist can help you untangle the roots of your perfectionism with kindness.
Final Thought
You are not your achievements. You are not the tidy version of yourself you show to the world. You are enough, even when things are unfinished, uncertain, or imperfect.
There is freedom in letting go — not of your standards, but of the pressure to always be flawless.