The Inner Critic: Learning to Quiet That Harsh Voice

We all have an inner voice — the one that narrates our day, checks in, and guides us. But for many, that voice has turned into a relentless critic. Harsh. Unforgiving. Unkind.

Your inner critic might say:

• “You’re not doing enough.”

• “You’re too much.”

• “You’ll mess this up, just like before.”

• “Why can’t you get it right?”

This voice often develops early — modelled by caregivers, teachers, or environments that were overly critical or inconsistent. Over time, we internalise those messages as truth, even when they are simply echoes of someone else’s fear or pain.

The Cost of Living with an Inner Critic

A strong inner critic can lead to:

• Anxiety and low confidence

• Perfectionism and burnout

• Difficulty taking risks or trying new things

• Trouble accepting love or praise

• Shame and self-rejection

It keeps you small by convincing you that being hard on yourself is the only way to stay “safe.”

But kindness doesn’t make you weaker — it helps you grow.

So How Do We Quiet It?

You don’t have to banish the critic entirely. But you can learn to turn down the volume — and turn up a more compassionate voice.

• Notice the tone – When your inner critic speaks up, pause. Ask: Would I speak to a loved one this way?

• Name the voice – Giving it a name (e.g. “the critic,” “the perfectionist,” “the scared part”) helps you create some distance.

• Practise self-compassionate language – Try replacing “I’m such an idiot” with “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough today.”

• Seek the origin – Ask yourself where this voice might have started. Whose voice does it resemble?

• Connect with your inner encourager – It’s there, even if it feels quiet. You can learn to strengthen it.

Final Thought

You are not the voice in your head that tears you down. You are the one hearing it — and you have the power to respond differently.

The inner critic might still speak, but you don’t have to believe everything it says. Your worth is not up for debate.